“Understanding your ego is the key, not fighting it.”
– Ashutosh Mishra
Table of Contents
What is Ego?
So, what exactly is ego? It’s that image you’ve created about yourself over time. The identity you hold onto, based on your achievements, experiences, and how others see you. It’s what makes you say, “I’m smart,” “I’m successful,” or even, “I need to be admired.”
But here’s the thing: that’s not the real you. The ego is just a persona, a mask. It’s the version of you that wants to fit in, feel important, or even control how the world sees you. It’s constantly trying to prove something—to others and to yourself.
Your ego makes you feel separate from everyone else. It loves to compare, to compete, and to be recognized. That’s why it causes so much stress and anxiety. When you’re attached to your ego, you’re always chasing something—whether it’s approval, success, or status.
But your real self? That’s different. It’s deeper, quieter, and doesn’t need any of that. The real you is just you, without all the labels and masks. And the funny thing is, once you start getting in touch with your true self, the ego slowly starts to fade away on its own. You stop needing to prove anything.
Understood? Alright!
How to Let go Ego?
Let’s talk about the ego for a second. Everyone says, “Let go of your ego.” But how can you let go of something that doesn’t even exist? That’s right—your ego is just an illusion. It only exists because you believe in it. The moment you stop feeding it with your attention, it disappears, just like darkness vanishes when you switch on the light.
The ego is not a real thing—it’s more like the absence of self-awareness. It’s there because you don’t truly know yourself. Once you discover your real self, the ego fades away on its own. Think of it like this: you can’t fight darkness, right? You can’t grab it and throw it out of a room. But the moment you turn on the light, the darkness is gone. The ego works in the same way—it’s not something you need to battle. You just need to bring more awareness into your life.
Don’t Try to “Sacrifice” the Ego
Now, we often hear things like, “Sacrifice your ego to grow.” But here’s the truth: you can’t sacrifice something that doesn’t exist. If you try, you might end up creating a new, sneakier ego—one that hides behind false humility or even the idea of being “egoless.” That’s still ego, just in disguise!
What you really need to do is observe your ego. Study it. Where does it come from? How does it affect your actions? Dive deep into it without judgment. When you bring awareness into the picture, you’ll notice that the deeper you go, the less there is to find. Eventually, you’ll come across something much bigger than your ego—your true self, the part of you that’s connected to everything.
Understood? Alright!
See the Difference Between Ego and Self
Here’s a simple distinction: the self is your true nature, what you were born with. Nobody can take it away because it’s who you are at your core. On the other hand, the ego is something you’ve picked up along the way—through society, education, achievements, and other people’s opinions. It’s not real; it’s just a mask you wear. When you start to see the difference, the ego naturally fades. You don’t need to fight it.
In fact, the harder you try to “surrender” your ego, the stronger it becomes. The ego thrives on effort. The more you try to control or force it away, the more it digs its heels in. The trick is to outgrow it, not battle it. It will fall away naturally when you reconnect with your true self.
Let the Ego Mature Before You Let It Go
Here’s something that might surprise you: before you can truly let go of the ego, it has to fully develop. It’s like a fruit—you can’t pick it until it’s ripe. If the ego is weak, you can’t dissolve it. You have to let it grow strong and mature, and then, when it’s ready, it will fall away on its own.
In the East, people are often taught to get rid of the ego from the very beginning. But this can backfire because if the ego isn’t fully developed, it can’t be dissolved. In contrast, the West teaches people to build strong egos for survival in a competitive world. Ironically, this makes it easier for people in the West to let go of the ego when they finally realize its true nature.
So, before you try to let go of your ego, make sure you fully understand it. Let it grow strong first. Then, when it’s ripe, you’ll find it’s much easier to let go.
Focus on Awareness, Not the Ego
To let go of the ego, don’t waste time trying to fight it. That’s like trying to push darkness out of a room. Instead, focus on bringing more awareness into your life. The moment you light the candle of awareness, the ego will disappear on its own. You won’t have to surrender it because, in the presence of awareness, it simply won’t exist.
The real journey isn’t about dropping the ego to find self-realization. It’s the other way around: once you find self-realization, you’ll look for the ego and discover it was never really there in the first place.
Understood? Alright!
So, stop fighting. Start seeing.