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“Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend. Know the difference.”
– Ashutosh Mishra
The Real Meaning of Friendship
Friendship is a word we use so casually. You meet someone once, you exchange a few words, and suddenly, they’re your “friend.” But is it really so simple? Friendship is a deep, delicate bond—it’s a connection that goes beyond just sharing a few laughs or having a common class.
Friendship is “the purest love.” It’s not a transaction; it’s not about what you can get from the other person. Friendship, true friendship, is a state of being. You’re with someone not because of what they offer, but because their presence brings a certain joy, a certain peace to your life. You don’t have to do anything, say anything, prove anything – just being together is enough.
But that’s rare, isn’t it? We go around calling everyone a friend, but most of these relationships are superficial. You say “friend,” but what you mean is “someone I know,” “someone I hang out with,” “someone who is useful to me.” A true friend is not someone who fulfills a need; they are someone with whom you can just be.
Classmates, Neighbours, and Acquaintances: What Are They?
Now, let’s get clear about this—everyone is not your friend. We have classmates, neighbours, and acquaintances, and that’s okay! Just because you know someone from school, or live next door to them, doesn’t mean they’re your friend.
Your classmates? They’re people you study with. Maybe you sit next to them in class, maybe you have group projects together. But when exams are over, where do they go? Are they still around when life gets tough?
Your neighbours? They may be friendly, but friendship is more than just exchanging pleasantries across the street.
And then there are acquaintances—people you meet through mutual connections, people you chat with occasionally. But do they know you? Would they stand by you in a crisis? Most likely, no.
I would say, “Don’t confuse friendliness with friendship.” You can be friendly with many people, but friendship is something much deeper. It requires time, trust, and truth.
Why Recognizing the Difference Matters?
You see, when you start calling everyone your friend, you start expecting too much from people who are not capable of giving you what a true friend can. And that’s where the disappointment comes in. Not everyone is supposed to be a part of your inner circle, and that’s okay.
Life is not about quantity; it’s about quality. Relationships should not be based on how many people you know, but on how deeply you connect with a few. When you understand who is a friend and who is not, you protect yourself from unnecessary heartache. You stop expecting loyalty from people who never promised it in the first place.
Knowing the difference allows you to keep your energy focused on the people who truly matter, those who bring value to your life without draining it. You start to experience what real friendship feels like—light, free, and full of love.
How to Identify True Friends?
A true friend is not just someone who is there during the good times; they are there when you are at your lowest. When everything is falling apart, who stands by your side? That’s your friend.
True friendship doesn’t have to be earned, it just happens. You don’t have to impress them, act a certain way, or pretend to be someone you’re not. “A friend is someone who brings out the best in you by simply being with you.” They challenge you to grow, but they also accept you as you are. They are mirrors, showing you who you truly are, without judgment.
Look at the people in your life. Who really listens to you? Who understands your silences, not just your words? Those are the people worth holding onto.
Keep Your Circle Close, but Small!
Remember, not everyone is meant to be in your inner circle. The fewer relationships you have, the more authentic and deep they will be. It’s not about having many friends – it’s about having the right ones.
Friendship is rare, and that’s what makes it so special. So, stop calling everyone your friend. Classmates, neighbours, acquaintances – they’re all part of your life, but friendship is a sacred bond. It’s okay to have friendly relations with many, but reserve the word “friend” for those who truly deserve it.
The next time you’re about to call someone your friend, ask yourself: are they really? Friendship is precious, don’t throw it around like confetti. Save it for the people who truly light up your life.
Now smile! 🙂